What a fucking waste of an outfit
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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