well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
