Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
