this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
