The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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