HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
