Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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