I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
