So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
