After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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