We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
