I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
