I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
