she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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