i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
