he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
