Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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