You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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