Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
