Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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