I smell stomach acid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
that is very illegal...i love you.
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