Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
