Porn is love you can see.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
