so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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