last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
