So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
