thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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