I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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