Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
