omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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