I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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