Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
