I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
