i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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