There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
