it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
