I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
