I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
