Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
