youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
