why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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