Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
