Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
