I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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