People in love make me want to vomit
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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