the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
