well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
