office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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