Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
