I seem to have left my pride at pride
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
