Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
